Renewed Housewife

Quiverfull with only one?

2010-06-08T15:36:00.004-04:00

I know that God is working in my heart dealing with my empty arms who so desperately want another baby of my flesh to hold. (see previous entry)

When we first decided to start trying for another child I started to feel convicted about birth control. Back when we first had Malachi we did not want to take anything that prevents the conceived (fetus) egg from implanting and starving to death. I had 2 doses of the depo-shot and took the mini-pill for approx. 2-3 months. I had questioned my ob/gyn about how the shot/pill worked. She was not straight with me. I should have did my own research. I said it before, I really regret taking the birth control.

Towards the beginning of this conception journey I started to read many blogs of large families. I still desire to have a large one. I started to read about a movement called "Quiverfull". I became convicted. I wanted that. I was going to trust in the Lord to provide for us the amount of and the timing of our children. I wanted it so badly. But I wanted certain pieces of it. I thought about the timing as in after I finally get pregnant again I will trust that the Lord will bring our 3rd child when He saw fit and that we were ready.

I am beginning to realize that I also must trust Him to bring number 2 when He sees fit. I still pray that it will be soon. Am I taking the matter in my own hands by charting and trying to be in control? Is taking the clomid (which I have not taken for several months now) also taking the matter in my own hands? I am not sure if I am totally ready to throw out my theoromonitor and stop charting. I did not chart last month and I have not started charting this month. But I am keeping an eye on my "potential fertility window". How do I balance taking charge of what I can and letting God do the rest and totally trusting God? Like when we are sick I believe we should still take medicine to heal our bodies, chemo, radiation, tylenol, what have you. But does the same apply to fertility? I am not against fertility treatments at all. But where do i go next?

I am beginning to think that my obsession for another child is my desire to control. I truly do want another one and soon. But right now there are so many other things outside of my control. Jadae's Crohn's and his surgery at the beginning of the year and multiple hospital stays. My mom's cancer coming back, spreading to her lungs and brain, her brain surgery, nerve damage, chemo and radiation. I think that I was so die-hard about charting because I wanted to control something. To say I did this. But is is God who forms us in our mother's womb, not us forming babies. He knows our days.

Another thing I am trying to sort out is the whole VBAC thing. I really want more then 4 children but how can I when I am limited due to hospital policy? Am I still trusting God after the 4th, when technically we are suppose to stop then? Will we move to a town something before we have gone beyond the point of eery having any baby VBAC?

Am I able (I know that i can) trust God that if all He has in store for us is only one that will be enough? Will I be able to be content with that?

Secondarily Infertility Sucks

2010-06-05T14:34:00.002-04:00

When my husband and I decided to start trying to have a baby he told me that he felt like we would either get pregnant right away or it will be hard to get pregnant. Both of those statements are true. It only took my second cycle of trying to get pregnant with Malachi. I loved being pregnant!

I had always wanted a big family with a houseful of kids. Due to hospital guidelines and my unexpected c-section with Malachi I am now limited to 4 pregnancies (all hospitals in our area do not allow VBAC's due to malpractice insurance policies). That really disappointed me. But I knew we could always adopt and we want to. But in the future.

When Malachi was about 9 months old we thought I was pregnant and I immediately stopped the birth control that I had been taking. Turns out I wasn't but I was already warmed up to the idea of giving Malachi a sibling then. So that started our journey of trying to have baby number 2. That was back in October of 2008. I also decided that I would no longer take birth control to prevent pregnancy. After trying for awhile I regreted my decision to ever have taken it.

We are still trying. Each month it gets harder and harder. I wanted my children to be close in age. I have taken dozens of pregnancy tests. Tried charting and clomid. Nothing has seemed to work. A few months I even did nothing- still I am barren. My blood tests came back normal and I am finally ovulating on my own. Not many people know that I am silently suffering inside. I dont know why I am not more open about struggling with infertility.

I think it is because I am afraid of other people's judgements. "You already have a baby you should be happy about that". I am thrilled that I have Malachi. But I feel less of a woman that I can't conceive again. I did it once before why not now? Will my dreams of a large family never become concrete? I also think it is because I find it so hard to be vulnerable in front of people. To cry, to be honest abut my struggles with this. Or "maybe its not the right time" with Jadae having surgery and whatnot. But by the time we would have the baby Jadae will be back to work full time and his Crohn's in remission.

Malachi loves playing with other people. He is a real social butterfly. It is unfair to him that I am unable to give him a sibling.

We still plan to adopt someday. But right now it is not feasable. I am obsessed with pregnant teenagers. How can it be so easy for them? There are people who are experiencing their second pregnancy since we've started to try for number 2. I can't even count how many couples, since we started to try a year and a half ago, that are pregnant now or who have had babies. I know that it is well over 2 dozen. Several of which were unplanned (pregnancies).

It is so unfair. I went to a wedding the other week. A group of 3 couples who all getting pictures together- all the wives were in various stages of pregnancy. I turned my head to prevent from crying. And I see someone talking to another lady's belly- who was not showing yet. And a very pregnant lady walks by. I just had to walk away it was just too hard.

Secondary infertility is actually more common then primarily, but no much is unsaid about it. People just don't talk about it. I only know of one other couple who experienced it (and there only child is around our age).

Why do I have to go through this struggle. I know that once we do become pregnant I will be grateful and definetly cherish the pregnancy. Why can some get pregnant so easily but others have to struggle?

START: Gover moves to Sesame Street

2010-02-12T18:43:00.004-05:00

I have not done a START (story with art) in such a long time. But today I finally was able to, as my husband was finally discharged from the hospital and home. Life is just starting to get back to normal. As long as we can get over being sick and snowed in!

I read Malachi, "When Grover moved to Sesame Street" by Jocelyn Stevenson. It is a cute book about Gover having mixed feelings about moving. And his story of how he came to Sesame Street.

So, just for kicks we decided to pack everything up. And move tomorrow! In fact, Malachi helped us put toys in his box, without any prompting.

Seriously though, we are moving this weekend. Just across town to the apartments that are attached to our church.

To find more fun Start activities go to Mommy's Adventures ~ http://amommysadventures.blogspot.com/

Some updates and more prayers needed

2010-01-10T18:14:00.001-05:00

Some updates... I meant to blog for awhile now. So much has happened but here are 2 of the most important and vital updates that could use prayer.

My Mom

My mom's brain surgery went really well! Although afterwards she was unable to speak at all for several hours. She stayed with us during her physical therapy. She is doing well but continues to have some balance issues. She also has no peripheral vision. Currently she is in Puerto Rico with some of the dance team from church for a conference. I am so happy that she was able to attend after having brain surgery 3 1/2 wks prior to the trip!

Jadae

He had been doing a lot better expect for a pain in his lower right abdominal. Several doctors had examined it and said that it was an inflamed lymph node. All other pain from his Crohn's was pretty much nonexistent expect for this. At the beginning of this past week he was experiencing a lot of pain. Wednesday night was very intense and he could not walk. His lips were white and he felt lightheaded. We called for an ambulance and left for the local ER, me following behind. (my dad was here and watched Malachi).
At the ER they did a CAT scan and the doctors told us that his appendix had ruptured sometime back in Nov. But is was blocked off so it did not kill him. They talked to their surgeons who were uncomfortable with doing the surgery and wanted him sent to Cleveland Clinic, where his Crohn's doctors are. This made us very nervous but the drs reassured us Jadae's life was not in danger.
After finding someone to take Malachi for a several days (it was 2:30 am at this pt) I went home to pack myself and Malachi a bag. I then picked up Jadae's mom and we drove through the night to Cleveland Clinic were we met Jadae.
Thursday doctors came in and examined him and reviewed the CAT scans. It was not a ruptured appendix after all. But his appendix was inflamed. Turns out he had a perforated bowel. Which is quite dangerous as he could become septic and a whole host of other issues.
Friday they did a loop ileostomy at 4 pm. Surgery was completed at 7 but his recovery took a lot longer then expected. Shortly after they sent him to the PACU (surgery recovery room) they gave him too much pain medication- which made him stop breathing. So after they remedied that they were very cautious of how much pain meds they could give him. His heart rate was really fast and he had a very low respiratory count. Finally after 6 am they were able to send him to his room. Jadae's mom and I were able to see him for only 5-10 minutes every 2 hrs.
It was so hard to see him like that. Saturday was a rough day for him. He was in a lot of pain and still have some oxygen problems. Today he was so much better. They did have to give him a blood transfusion today.
This had been the longest that I had ever been away from Malachi. I talked to him every day on the phone but he refused to talk to me until yesterday. Jadae's mom and I went home today. Although Jadae wanted me to be with him he also wanted me home with Malachi. Malachi does not understand what is going on. We could even tell him as he was in bed when the ambulance came.
Jadae is still at Cleveland Clinic. We are not sure how long he will be there. He will be off of work for 6 wks. Then 3-6 months from now he was have another surgery to reverse the stoma. Which he will be off of work again for an extended time period after another hospital stay.
Emotional I am doing ok. Overwhelmed and not understand why so much has been happening. Every month since Oct someone in my immediate fam has been hospitalized. I've cried a lot this past week. Some days my nerves and anxiety were fine, other days I was more of a mess.

A lil more than just overwhelmed

2009-12-11T06:43:00.004-05:00

It's been over a month since I last posted. So much has gone on and my family needs your prayers.

The week of Thanksgiving my husband was hospitalized for his Crohn's disease. he was over an hour away. He had a partial blockage - which they were able to get under control with steroids. So no surgery yet!!! He was there for almost a week. It was a rough week- never knowing what was going on (he didn't even know), if he would have surgery, and me at home taking care of Malachi- who didn't understand why daddy was not coming home. It was a fluke but Jadae was able to see Malachi one time in the hospital in his room! Malachi and I would pray every night for his daddy!

Now, not even 2 wks later my mom is in the hospital. (A lil' background) She was diagnosed with Breast cancer (stage 3) almost 2 yrs ago to the date. She was treated with chemo and radiation and was cancer free for several months. It came back this summer and had spread to her lungs. She had a mastectomy done and has been undergoing radiation for several months. She had her last radiation treatment Wednesday.

All this week she felt like her balance was off and she mentioned it to her doctor which ordered a MRI done right then. Yesterday morning they admitted her because they found 2 tumor's in the back of her head. One is small the other is walnut sized. They are located near her vision cortex on the brain. They are removing the bigger one today. The cancer has spread to her brain.

My mom is having brain surgery today around 11 or noon. The surgery is expected to take from 4-6 hrs but up to 8 hrs. I am scared. This is scary. Please pray- have other people people. She needs a break in life. She has had a hard one, a rough childhood.

I've been told that as far as brain surgeries go this one is minor. And that the doctor is optimistic.

So much has changed in a single day. Yesterday I woke up and things were fine. And then I ended up spending the entire day in the hospital and plan to do the same today. Pray for us!

My first offical attempt of doing Tot School

2009-11-05T11:14:00.004-05:00

I have never offical sat Malachi down for Tot School. I teach him new things all the time and do many things on the spur of the moment. I also teach Scarlett tons of things. Right now I am teaching her how to read off and on. I am not very consistant with it but as the mood hits I work with her. It is a little easier to do "Tot School" with her, as she is almost 4 and Malachi is only 22 months old.

Anyhow, yesturday I sat them down at the table and squirted shaving cream (I have quite a few bottles that I got at CVS for free) all over the table. I had planned on helping Scarlett learn how to write and read different words (she knows a handful of them right now) and teaching Malachi his shapes and how to draw them.

Scarlett was more focused than Malachi. Malachi was just content to play and run his hands through the shaving cream. I reviewed the shapes with him for a little while. Then I just let them play until the smell just got too much for me.

stART- A Plump and Perky Turkey

2009-11-03T14:41:00.011-05:00

This past wkd Malachi and I drove up to my sister-in-law, Sara's, house to spend the wkd with her and her family. Her oldest son is a year older then Malachi and they love to play together. We had planned for a great, fun-filled wkd. We got there Friday evening and hung out, played the Wii, watched a movie, etc.

During the middle of the night I got sick. And I ended up being sick all wkd. I almost never get sick. It was awful. Sara took really good care of me! So there went all the plans we had for the wkd. The boys still had a lot of fun playing together!

We are not exactly sure why I got sick. I never ran a fever at all. But I could keep nothing down and then some more. There are three theories that we have
a) I caught some sort of stomach bug
b) I started a new medication 2 wks ago and ever since then I have been really nausea
c) I bruised (possibly even cracked) my ribcage a few days before the trip and have been in tremendous pain since then. So maybe I was sick due to the stress on my body

Sunday morning I was feeling a a little better. So we did a craft I had planned. I read them, A Plump and Perky Turkey by Teresa Bateman. It is a really cute book about townsfolk trying to find a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner. So they decide to advertise that they need a turkey to model for their Art fair, hoping to trick the Pete the Turkey after he judges the townsfolk creations. I am not doing the book any justice.

We then made turkeys with the boys using the outlines of their feet and hands. After the turkeys were completed I knew they looked different then what they were suppose to look like. Once I got home I realized that we did a few things wrong. I am blaming my sickness~ tired + weak + not feeling well = a poor memory!

This was the first activity that I did with stART. Which stands for Story with Art. A very fun idea to make story time very interactive and to help use your child(ren)'s imagination!

Today I re-read the story and re-did the craft with Malachi and my niece, Scarlett. This time I made the turkeys according to how they were suppose to be made.

(Sorry about the quality of the pic's. Our camera is semi-broken. It takes pictures. But the display screen is all white and we have no view finder. Therefore, when I take pictures I have to pray and hope that my aim is correct and that I am in focus!)

For more ideas, go to StArt at A Mommy’s Adventures.

It's what's for Dinner...Last night

2009-10-28T10:45:00.005-04:00

I like trying out new recipes. Espically when I know that Jadae can est whatever I prepare. I tried out a new recipe last night. It is very simple but good! And since I have not posted a recipe in awhile I will post it here.

Farmer's Chicken

Yield:
4 servings
Ingredients:
4 tablespoons butter

4 tablespoons flour

2 cup milk

1-2 lbs boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cubed

4 celery ribs, chopped

1 small onion, chopped

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon pepper

12 ounce package of stuffing mix

Instructions:
1. Saute onion, and prepare stuffing mix according to package directions and set aside.
2. In a medium sauce pan, melt butter and then add flour. Stir until bubbly, then cook one minute. Slowly add in milk, stirring continually to avoid lumps.
3. Add chicken, celery, onion, salt and pepper. Cook and stir for 5-10 minutes, until chicken is done and celery is starting to get tender.
4. Pour mixture into an 8x8-inch casserole dish. Top with stuffing. Bake, uncovered, at 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes.

I did not use the celery. (I forgot we had some and Jadae is not sure if he is able to eat it yet due to his Crohn's) I also subsituted Rice Milk for the milk. And I accidentally dropped the cutting board that I was chopping the onion on and lost half my onion :( But overall is tasted really good. Next time I will add more chicken (I used a little over a pound) and a little less milk. (it was a little too moist for my husband).

( I got this recipe from Tammy's Recipe's at http://tammysrecipes.com/)

I Won a Give-Away!

2009-10-22T11:29:00.008-04:00

As part of 1+1+1=1's 1000 Subscriber Celebration, Carisa gave away several BrainyBaby dvd's. And we won one of the Animals dvds! I was very happy about winning this because Malachi loves animals!

Last week while Malachi was on a mend I decided to put the DVD in the player for the first time. Both Malachi and my niece that I sit for loved it! It was all about animals. It went on to talk about different animal facts (a cow has 4 stomachs), what different animal baby's are called, what animal families are called, etc. So educational and kept both thier attentions! (Malachi is 22 months and Scarlett will be 4 next month)

God heard our prayers!

2009-10-17T22:57:00.005-04:00

After Malachi had been hospitalized we were told to keep an eye on him. If he were to vomit, act lethargic, lose consciousness, etc. we needed to call the neurosurgeon in Cleveland right away.

Malachi has been sleeping with us since he fractured his skull because I wanted to keep a close eye on him and make sure that he is okay throughout the night. Malachi had thrown up. Thursday morning I woke up and smelled something awful. Malachi had thrown up. I yelled for Jade right away. Fortunately he had not left for work yet. I called the neurosurgeon, who wanted us to bring him back to Cleveland right away.

Not knowing what to expect we grabbed an overnight bag and got there as quickly as we could. (I had packed a bag of a few days worth of clothes for each of us when we got back earlier in the week- so we would be more comfortable while we stayed in the hospital). On the way there Malachi got sick again. He looked so scared. I was scared. I figured that since he was vomiting again he would need surgery. I did not want to even think of how bad the outcome could be.

While we were waiting for a room in the ER Malachi had told each of us that he loved us. That made me nervous too. Did he know something we didn't? Was he saying good-bye?

He was rather clingy and tired, and just looked miserable. He was having diarrhoea every hour or so. We were in the ER all day long. Malachi had another CAT scan to see if the area where the fracture was was swelling or bleeding at all. A radiologist, doctor, and neurosurgeon all look at the scan and could not find anything!

In fact, not one single person could even find the original fracture!!!! Skull fractures typically take a long time to heal.

We know that God healed Malachi's skull! Praise God!

(read previous post to learn more about his accident)

Malachi's hospitalization

2009-10-13T20:01:00.007-04:00

Sunday during nursery Malachi ended up hitting his head badly in a doorway. It took a little while for me to comfort him but after I offered him a banana and some banana bread he calmed down. At my mom's house Malachi got sick and on the way home he got sick again.

We called the doctor's office and talked to the ped on-call; she said that if he threw up again we were to take him to the ER. But since he never lost consciousness and because he was acting okay that we did not need to take him right away. I was really concerned and my mommy gut was saying "take him". I was quite persistent about it. So Jadae took him while I went with the youth group to a Underground Railroad Reenactment Walk (that we both were suppose to go on with them). Malachi ended up getting sick a third time at the ER)

About 2/3's of the way into the walk Jadae text's me to see how much longer I would be. Then he calls me. I knew something was up if he called. He explained that Malachi has a slight skull fracture and that they were going to transfer him to Cleveland's Rainbow Baby and Children's Hospital. (they were originally going to go to Arkon but we have family in Cleveland). They wanted to observe him overnight. I left right away and went straight to the hospital, hoping and praying that I would beat the ambulance there. I did!

I am so thankful that I listened to my mommy's gut even though everyone told me that he would be fine and pry just has a bug. Even though he never lost consciousness it did look like he had a concussion. I was so afraid for him. He was being hospitalized. Would he be okay? How long would he have to stay? I was very scarced and did not know what to expect.

They allowed both Jadae and me to ride in the ambulance. We went to their ER first and then got our room for the hospitalization at around 3 am. Malachi went crazy running around since he was coped up on a hospital bed and in our arms for the last 8 hrs.

We saw a neurosurgeon who said surgery was not necessary. He had a non-displaced fracture of the left temple. A nurse took his vitals every few hrs and saw some more doctors. We were discharged at 6 or 7 pm and were allowed to go him with the instructions that we were to keep an eye on him and if he exhibited a list of symptoms that we were to call them immediately.

The hospital was really nice. Malachi played in the playroom for awhile. He also made friends were the staff. They all thought he was so adorable. We only had the cloth's that were on our back. But if we had to stay longer I would definitely had someone bring come clothes up and some comfort items for Malachi. Malachi loved walking the hallways.

While we were in the hospital we got word that Jadae's grandpa had died. He is the grandpa whose house we have been living in for almost 2 yrs now. Malachi's middle name came from him. While his health had been declining we did not expect him to die soon.

My mom got her port in today. She starts radiation on Wednesday or Thursday depending on how well her staples are healing from the mastectomy.

So I am a little overwhelmed right now

Bad Blogger

2009-10-04T18:25:00.004-04:00

I know, I know...it has been awhile.

My mom did have surgery last monday. They did do the mastectomy. She is doing surpraisingly well. She has had very little pain. Although she is quite tired. I was able to go with her to my youngest brother's socceer game on Saturday. It was cold! (only in the high 50's) and windy! But sill fun! They beat Lex! First time that thier soccer team has beaten them since '92. In fact, Lex was undefeated until then!

My dad has "moved" in with us this past Friday. He will be staying with us while he tries to find a house and closes on it. He is thinking that he only will be staying with us for about a month to two months. Malachi is loving it! He calls him "Grandpa Bear", but mainly "Bear". (I am not sure why the kids started calling my dad that but it has stuck).

Malachi has been talking more and more lately. This past week he has said several new words; Chair, Door, Bear, waffle. I cannot remember what else right now. But he has also been saying 3 words that all parents cannot wait until their children can say them; I Love You

A cloth diaper contest

2009-09-21T10:54:00.004-04:00

I have been using cloth diapers for a year now. I use Happy Heiny's, BumGenius, and Fuzzi Bunz. One of the blogs I read posted about a giveaway that someone else was having where you could Win Six bumGenius 3.0 One-Size Cloth Diapers!!!

So I entered the giveaway. I hope I win! Cloth diapering has saved me a lot of money and it is better for the environment. And I can reuse the diapers with future babies. My sister-in-law has even started to cloth diaper her youngest son.

Here is the link in case your interested in entering the contest!

http://clothdiapertips.com/contest-six-bumgenius-3-0-one-size-cloth-diapers/#comment-782

Last week's CVS trip

2009-09-21T10:24:00.006-04:00

I've spent the weekend in MI watching Jadae's brother, Josh get married. It was a good trip and I will post more about it after I am am to download the pictures off my sister's camera. (Our camera's malfunctioning right now- it will take pictures but the screen is black and there is no viewfinder. So it is hit and miss and hoping that you got what you want and it is in focus).

Anyhow, this past's weeks CVS trip included me using rainchecks that I have accumulated for awhile now because I was not impressed with last week's sales. I love the fact that CVS rainchecks do NOT expire! And you can get rainchecks for items that let you earn Extra Bucks!

This trip I brought 1 package of Poise liners, 4 packages of Carefree Liners, 2 Reese's clusters, and a bottle of Purex laundry detergent.

After rainchecks, coupons, and CVS bucks I only paid $1.43.

And I got $17 back in Extra Bucks!

Just life

2009-09-14T19:39:00.003-04:00

My little man is climbing the walls, literally, tonight. He took off his diaper, climbed onto the back of the coach and onto the window seal edge behind the blinds- Butt naked! He is running circles all over the place tonight.

Good News though, his ear infection is totally gone. No more antiboitics!

My mom finds out this week what her plan is concerning her breast cancer.

Last week was rather busy for me. Here was the basic jest of my schedule. M-F I did watch Scar during the day.
Sunday- Church am, Youth group pm
Monday (Labor Day)- my family came over for a cook-out, then we played Phase 10
Tuesday- Dance practice (I decided to rejoin the dance ministry team at church after a 4 year long break)
That night was the night I stayed in the ER with Malachi
Wednesday- B-sat for my nieces, Scarlett and Ariana, and I was suppose to go to Peace House but I skipped to stay home with Malachi
Thursday- Went to Ashland U, my ala matar, to get free CEU's to keep my LSW up to date.
Fri- Went to Ashland U for more free CEU's
Saturday- Got even more free CEU's in Ashland.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I got really disappointed in a stituation today that we have been dealing with for a year now. So I decided to reflect on the good that I have received.

While we did not have our own garden this year, our church had a community garden and we were blessed with fresh produce. (tomatoes, green beans, potatoes, etc.)

Our neighbor mows our yard almost every week for us and never asks for any kind of competsantion.

Our dishwasher recently went out on us. But for a year and a half I was able to use it even though it did not do that great of a job (one of the old versions).

Through the blessing of someone who I will not mention we are able to go to Michigan this coming weekend to Jadae's brother get married!

I am blessed to live walking distance to a CVS where I find awesome deals and get extra bucks back! and I get exercise!

I am also blessed to live near a thift store that has really great prices and half-off Wednesdays (I just have to be careful not to spend too much)

"Not" Me Wednesday and Funny things Malachi does

2009-09-09T21:19:00.006-04:00

This is my first "Not Me" post

Malachi did "not" have a temp of 104 last night

Malachi and I did "not" go to the ER at mid-night last night

Malachi and I did "not" stay in the ER until 7:30 am

Malachi does "not" have his first ear infection

We did "not" go 7 hrs without seeing a single doctor

I did "not" go over 25 hours without sleep

End of "not" me post
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Funny things Malachi does

Earlier this afternoon I was trying to give Malachi his Mortrin and he did not want to take it. He kept his mouth firmly shut. I asked him if he wanted me to get "mean mommy" out. Malachi shook his head no and open his mouth wide for the medcine.

Reunion and Mom update

2009-08-30T19:12:00.005-04:00

I've been quite busy lately so this is a short and basically to the point update.

The reunion last wkd was wonderful! I got to see my cousin, Kristin (she is married to Jadae's cousin - Jason) she is pregnant with a baby girl - due in November. They live in TN and its been a while since I've gotten to visit with them. It was rather chilly and rainy. They had karaoke; which I did not participate. I will be the first to admit that I cannot sing on key, any key whatsoever.

Josh and Sara and our new niece, Corinna, came to town for that wkd! It was also nice to see them. We only get to see Josh a few times a year. We sure miss him. Here is my in-laws with all of their grandchildren minus Xzavier (he was in Michigan with his mom). This is the best shot. All of the others Malachi was sobbing (he was awaken from his nap and a bit insecure).

After the reunion all of us ladies (my sister-in-laws, and Angel- my oldest niece) all went to the thrift store. Thrifting makes me a happy women. I love thrift stores and can spend a fortune there.

This Friday my mom and I took my brother, Harrison to move into his dorm room. He is a freshman at Mt. Vernon Nazarene University. I can't believe he is that old already. I know that he is going to love dorm life. It looks like this semester he will not have a roommate. I miss the dorm life atmosphere. I only got to experience it the year I lived in Texas. I miss the school atmosphere, but not the stress of the work.

Yesterday Jadae and I celebrated our 4th anniversary (which was actually on the 27th). We went to a all-you-can-eat Chinese Buffet. Then to the Bookery (Christian bookstore) and got a couple's devo, a devo for me, and a Mom's and son Bible story book. The book for Malachi is really cool- it writes the Bible stories from the perspective of the children (ie, Abraham and Issac- from Issac's view), then has a part after the story that talks about what it means to be a Man of God. It also has a spot for mom's to read to help their son get a better and clearer picture to help their sons turn into godly men.

My mom's results came back from the biopsy on the tumor that was on her lung. The news is bittersweet. It is not lung cancer, Praise God! But is is cancer. Her breast cancer is back. She will have surgery, chemo, and radiation again. It is good-bad news situation. We basically knew that the cancer was back. But it was still hard to hear.

Update on my mom and Life

2009-08-22T09:51:00.004-04:00

It was determined that the noudle on my mom's lung is in a place where they can do a needle biospy. Praise God that there is no need for a surgery yet! With this biospy they will rule out any other cancers. If there is no other cancer then they will work on the mass on her breast. The doctors are quite sure that the cancer is back.

This really depresses me. But my mom is a fighter. And Jadae has only had peace about the stituation since the breast cancer came the first time.

Please continue to keep my family in your prayers.

The last few days were quite busy for me. We got a new to us washing machine. Ours broke a couple of weeks ago. Boy was I ever glad to be able to do laundry!!! And to use cloth diapers again! Although we are not using them right now because all the disposibles gave Malachi a diaper rash. (you shouldn't use diaper rash cream on cloth diapers)

My brother Harrison spent the first part of the week with us. Thursday morning I took him, Malachi, and my 4 month old neice, Ariana , to the thift stores across town to get Harrison some pants for college. He leaves to go to MVNU next week. I cannot believe that he is that old now! Then we went to the bank and back to my house.

A short while after we got home Scarlett (my 3 yr old neice) got dropped off for me to watch. I was cleaning the house in the meantime to get it ready for Jadae's brother and his family who were coming down from MI for the wk.

After I took Jadae to work Malachi and I went to Krogers. They were having a Mega Buck sale and a Triple coupon weekend! So I really stock up! I watched Scar again in the afternoon. Then we had Jadae's family over for a cook-out at our house last night.

And today is the BIG family reunion!

Homemade Tortillas

2009-08-18T19:37:00.008-04:00

I was trying to figure out what to make for dinner tonight. I decided that I wanted to make Pizza Quesadilla's. We did not have any tortilla shells or anything else that I could substitute (I have used buns, biscuits, and English muffins before)for it. I found a recipe for homemade Tortilla's.

The recipe was so simple and easy.

Here is the recipe that I used (makes about a dozen)

4 cups Flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
4 Tablespoon margarine or butter
1 cup (or more) warm water

Combine flour, baking powder, salt, and margarine in a medium bowl.

Gradually add water and mix until the dough is smooth (use your clean hands to knead). If dough is too sticky add flour, too stiff add water.

Roll dough into balls (about 1 1/2 inches). Set on a plate and cover with a clean towel for 10 minutes.

Use a rolling pin to roll the balls flat. Approx. 6 inches in diameter. If you want the picture perfect circles you will need to use a knife to cut off the excess dough.

The flatter you roll the dough the more like tortilla-like it will be. The thicker the dough is the more like gordita it will be.

Cook tortillas one at a time in a griddle or skillet over medium heat. Turn over when several bubbles appear. You may want to flatten the tortilla after it is flip to ensure that the other side cooks better.

The tortillas will be hard at first, but after they cool off they will be easier to bend. I believe that they freeze well, but I would not know- no left-overs!

My family loved them!!! I read that once you try them you will never want store-brought ones again. I agree!

Will I like it?

2009-08-17T21:56:00.003-04:00

Jadae and I will be celebrating our 4 year anniversary next week (Thursday). We are still trying to decide what to do.

As of right now we will probably be going out to eat then catch a movie at the dollar theatre. We were thinking about getting a night away, but simply cannot afford it.

Every since I saw that they made a movie out of My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult. I wanted to see it. I loved that book! (If you want to buy it Amazon has it for around $11- click on one of my links and it will lead you directly to Amazon.com)

But I know that Jadae really wants to see the Star Trek movie.

Do you think I will like it? I do not like sci-fi all that much. So I am nervous about being bored out of my mind doing it. What do you think?

BTW...Summer colds just are not fun at all!

My Mom

2009-08-13T12:43:00.003-04:00

December 13th, 2007- My mom found out that she has Breast cancer. It was consirdered a stage 3 due to the size of the lump. She had surgery Jan. 2rd to remove the cancerous tumor. And also had chemotherapy and radiation. Last summer was her last treatment. Since then she's had no problems until recently.

Three weeks ago she found lump. She saw her doctor and he expressed concern about the size and the way the lump felt. She went to Riverside on Monday of this week for an MRI and got the results today.

The MRI was undetermined so they will have to do a needle biopsy to see what is going on. The MRI showed a module on her lungs. She has to go tomorrow to our local hospital to have a CAT scan done to see exactly where it is located and to determine if they can do a needle biopsy or if they will have to do a biopsy through surgery.

I am afraid right now. I am trying to trust God but it is hard. I hate to see my mom going through this.

Please pray for God's healing, peace, and wisdom.

Also, there may be a chance that the lump may be from her Neurofibroatosis.

Homemade Beef Jerky

2009-08-11T10:31:00.005-04:00

This past weekend was the all church camp-out! My church has a lot of land, including a wooded area, which is where the campground is located. The campground is somewhat rural with only one hand pump for water, but there are electrical posts scattered throughout the campsite.

My family left on Thursday for a long weekend there, even though it did not officially start until Friday. There were a few other families who also decided to show up early, including my mom and step-dad and my younger brothers.

Earlier in the week Nick (my youngest brother) and I made home-made beef jerky. Typically I tend to make it spicy but this time I decided to make it sweet instead so I used honey. Now that I thought about it I could have added some brown sugar.

Here is the basic recipe

3 lbs of meat (I typically get some sort of butt roast- but London Boil, brisket, and flank steaks work well also)

2/3 cup Worcestershire sauce

2/3 cup soy sauce (I always get the reduced sodium type because it reduces the saltiness)

1 tsp black pepper

1 tsp garlic powder

1 tsp onion powder

1 1/2 tsp liquid smoke

Optional

2 tsp cayenne pepper

2 tsp Hot Sauce

3 Tb honey

Now you may need to double the recipe depending on the amount of meat you brought.

I have learned that it is so much easier to cut the meat into slices when it is slightly frozen. You don't want the meat too thin because it increases the chances of burning it and you don't want it too thick because it will not dehydrate as well. I tend to cut my pieces about a little less than 1/4 in thick. Make sure that you cut away all the fat that you can.

I mix my marinade up in a freezer bag (I taste a bit before I add the meat too determine if I need to add something else) and then shake the meat up in it. Let it set overnight in the refrigerator.

Place one oven rake at the highest level and the other oven rack (wrapped in tin foil to catch drippings to avoid a mess in you oven) on the lowest shelf.

Then you poke toothpicks through the top of the meat and hang them from the oven racks so that the pieces of meat are hanging down (see picture above)

When all pieces are done turn your oven on to the lowest setting and leave the oven door open ajar. You do not want to shut the door because then it would bake the meat. Leaving the door ajar allows moisture to escape.

You know that the jerky is done when the meat is still flexible but mainly dry. If it breaks in two then it was overdone.

*Warning*

Because this can take any where from 4 to 7 hrs until it is done "cooking" I tend to get up WAY early in the morning to get it in the oven. I then go back to bed to get more sleep. by doing that the beef jerky should be done before noon

This is so much cheaper than store brought beef jerky. It will last probably about a week and a half (I am not sure exactly how long because it is always gone within days). It will not last as long as the store brought kind, but it will not have all the preservatives, artificial flavors, or MSG'S.